the art of letting go/unmastered

 

Some people come into your life, not just as a lesson that life is trying to teach you or as someone who’s here to make you feel that you belong but as a cold breeze in a summer afternoon and warm sunlight on a winter morning, not to be touched or held or even to stay but just to make you feel good enough so you keep on living with hope.

And the problem with that is we, humans have not yet learned the art of letting go, I don’t consider myself above you, I’m no different than you, I’m no better.

I still search for her smile in crowds, my best joke will not be funny if she’s not the one laughing, I can never look at another human being without trying to find her in them even though I know that she was once in a blue moon kind.

I don’t just miss her when I’m looking at her picture in my wallet or when I order her favorite drink in cafeteria out of habit or when I see her talking to somebody else who’s not even worthy or breathing the same air as hers but

I miss the god who used to see me in prostration while I prayed for her happiness with tears in my eyes, I miss the moon, which listened silently as I unraveled every thread of our conversations into the night air. I miss the person I was when she stood beside me—a man who carried the courage to conquer the world if she willed it and the humility to fall to his knees if her tears ever fell.

that’s what being loved feels like, I know all of it was because of her because now I can see the same courage in someone else’s eyes even though I don’t know if he has the same humility in his heart.

elusive_zahid

 

 

 

how could i ever forget you..

What’s going on in your funny little mind now?

I’m thinking how this is so not fair to them.

What’s not fair? To whom?

My friends.

How?

Its so unfair to them that you talk to me for a few minutes but they have to hear about it for hours.

.

It’s been months since we’ve talked right? And the more time passes harder it becomes for me to move on from you, as Ted Mosby once said “sometimes you don’t want to let go of things that make you sad because those same things once made you happy”.

I still think about you today, the way you laughed, the way you smiled, the way you looked at me, the way I found myself in you.

Without you everything is meaningless, doesn’t matter how many people laugh at my jokes now, without you its dead silence to me, no matter where I am I’ll always be in search of your eyes, I’ll always be searching for my soul I left inside you.

I don’t just remember you on cold nights of winter when I’m alone but also on a clear day when I’m around my closest friends, because I could never draw a line between you and my peace, you were my comfort or maybe the closest thing to it I could ever get.

It’s a shame that many men will live their life and end it without experiencing love, mind you not “without being loved” but experiencing it.

Experiencing love is quite different, its about being in the moment, when it’s happening.

looking someone in the eyes and reaching for their neck wishing you could melt in this very moment, that’s love.

Holding someone’s cold hands while yours are burning like fire, that’s love.

Absence so heavy that it becomes a presence in itself, leading a life full of emptiness because you know what you had was once in a lifetime thing and it can never be achieved again, that’s love.

When you look at hundreds of people everyday while your eyes still search for her in every face, that’s love.

And I pity you, for you have been robbed of the emotion that makes you a human.