Easy to acquire but dreadful to leave behind

Regret, So easy to acquire but so hard to carry and much more dreadful to leave behind, regret is when we live in the past, in the beautiful world of what ifs, and there's nothing wrong to stay there for a while, why would I let go of my past when everyone I ever loved are still there,

But, there's another side of this story, Its nice to feel nostalgic for a while, but if you keep visiting your past, eventually its gonna become a part of your present, but the thing is, your past was filled with people but what you carry in the present is just a hollow mosaic of their memories, enough to keep you occupied but not to make you fulfilled, 

you cannot keep waiting for people, its just the way life is, because if you do, what will happen to those who are waiting for you, counting on you, while you live your life in hallucinations of what once was your Utopia, people are suffering and being abandoned because of your selfishness. 

You have to understand that past is temporary and useless, its what you carry in the present that makes it meaningful, be it a lost game, a gross breakup, or a loss of a loved one, regrets is only gonna make it worse, be that as it may, the regret is not because they are not here anymore, but because you were not with them enough, but trust me, every moment counts, maybe you being there with them was more than enough, 

there's this beautiful quote by Umar ibn al-Khattab (RA), "Do not grieve, for what was written for you was never meant to miss you", having patience is essential, patience is not when you wait for something to happen, but more about how you behave while you wait for it, so be patient, you'll get it, and if you don't you'll get something better,

 "jo aapke mann ka hota hai woh accha hota hai, par jo aapke mann ka nahi hota woh aur bhi accha hota hai, kyuki woh ishwar ke mann ka hota hai"

I would never write anything I wouldn't hear myself, perhaps I write things for myself but always forget to come back to them, so if you're reading this, please make sure that I hear this when I need to.

signing out Mr conscience, follow me on @elusive_ppoet for more

 

"Never leave my hand, always hold on to them"

I don't know if you've heard this one or not, but when i was little, my dad used to tell me " if its yours, it will roam the world to find you, but if it isn't, you'll roam the world for it but still wont get it", but what he said after it is what stick to me, he said "koshish karke dekh lena, dhoka kismat deti hai, mehnat nahi"

I started reading books when I was 9, my first read was Sherlock Holmes, this specific chapter means a lot, I'll tell you why later, the thing about this is, Sherlock is sitting on a park bench and he suddenly notices a mother with her children, they're on the middle of the road, and the mother says to her child, "never leave my hand, always hold on to them" 

Sherlock stands up and John asks him, "are you down with something?", sherlock replies, "no, why do you ask", john says, "no, its just I noticed you put your hands in your coat all of a sudden", Sherlock smiles and says "I don't have anyone to hold them for me" 

The reason I'm telling you this is because someone asked me today, "why do you keep your hands in the pocket, don't they get sweaty?", like of course this isn't London, but I thought to myself there's no actual reason why I do this, it's just I read something when I was 9 and I've been doing that since. The best part about this is that even though dad isn't around anymore, this habit stays with me from the book he bought. 

Since then, I won declamations, debates, gave speeches, changed schools, made new friends, lost some old ones, got some cold shoulders, then gave shoulders to cry on, made fun of trauma, did stand-up comedy, Poetry, was the youngest at every table and what not! Life came a full circle, its just that, I don't know if it matters anymore or not but the little hands the 9 years old Zahid shove into his pockets never came out.

I still try to be the person, I thought I could be, for a while I believed, I actually did, that I am the person I ought to be, who could look the 9 year old in the eye and say "you can take my hand, always hold on to them", but I'm not, but what I'm sure of is, that I'm getting there, I'll be there someday, as my dad once said, "koshish karte rehna, dhoka kismat deti hai, mehnat nahi" 

So, good bye for you, I'll see you soon (its a threat), in the meanwhile follow me on @elusive_ppoet 
I'm open to constructive criticism (from people who have actually constructed something ofc)

 

Tea of the day! your little blogger is employed now!

HI! 

Came out a bit too aggressive eh? well, missed you guys a lot, its just been that kind of day, well no, actually a week, so much has happened but I'm too busy experiencing it all that I don't have time to tell you guys about it. 

I miss the time when we didn't know each other,

I was just another classmate to you, the funny thing is that you guys didn't even know what I looked like but still tuned in, read each and every word, and also gave a feedback, I'm sorry I didn't cherish you guys enough, but if it was up to me I would kill someone for you guys (especially if it's that taklu chindichor)

So, tea of the day (or month) your little blogger is employed now! 

like can you even imagine! Me with actual responsibilities?!?!??!!

like yeah I did once gave tutions to kids (and they passed with more than 70% in 12th, so yeah I mean I am kinda great) but that doesn't mean you give me an actual job?!?! 

my office is filled with idiots but not the ones I have at college, i sit there and think I don't miss the circus, I miss my clowns, hope i'll see you guys soon....

I'll try my best, I'm not promising anything, but I'll try to be regular now, i know i have said that before, i dont remember how many times but yeah, its the thought that matters right?

I wrote this piece few days back, and I honestly feel that it sums up my entire month..

Har urooj ka zawaal hota hai..

Har khwaab ka apna ek malaal hota hai..

Qabr me bhi sukoon kaha haasil hai zahid...

waha bhi har farishte ka apna ek sawaal hota hai....

hope this resonates with you, tell me about your day, reach out to me on @elusive_ppoet

looking forward to seeing you this december.