𝕁𝕌𝕊𝕋 𝕊ℍ𝕆𝕎 𝕌ℙ!

Hi,its been a while....

few days back I read something on the internet about imposter syndrome,and i realised that its not anything that i've never felt before, i've heard people talk about this feeling,the feeling of not belonging somewhere, although i feel it is truly justified to feel this way due to whatever reasons like unwelcoming people or your very own introverted self,you shouldn't be so hard on yourself

All of us are doing this for the first time,and I'm not talking about your craft or your academics I'm talking about life in general, and just because you're doing this for the first time you dont have to do it alone,all of us are in this together,just because somewhere someone showed up before you,doesn't mean you owe them shit, every room you walk into,remember that you are where you're supposed to be, nothing is a coincidence,the universe is hardly ever that lazy, you are where you should be, and that goes both ways, from you  sky-highs to your rock bottoms,you're there because of your decisions, so it doesn't matter if you're scared,what matters is that you showed up,a lot can happen if you just show up

I remember the first time I performed my first Stand-up comedy set infront of some 100? people,can you imagine a guy who has never touched a mic before,now standing in front of 100 people? and supposedly making them laugh?

Performing in front somewhat 10-15 people was what i signed up for(or you can say registered),this happened specifically on 22nd oct 2022,i registered for a college fest because I didn't want to be the same shy kid i was(now i feel it was pretty good), thats when i first experienced imposter syndrome, some part of me knew that i wasn't supposed to be here but rest of me was like lets "fuck around and find out"this is exactly what i said in my mind

while i was happy performing for 10 people and few judges,rest of the performers began throwing tantrum because the college had an auditorium which was full of people waiting for dance performences,after few hours of argument with the authorities we got the chance to perform in the auditorium(which was completely against my will) because my audience grew from 10 to 100 but my confidence,not so much.

But i remembered something my father said to earlier,"whatever happens,i want you back at home before 10pm",that and "it doesn't matter if you're scared,if you're scared,do it scared,but do it",this one line is stuck with me even now,now about the show,it was awful,awfully good because it turned out that others were also pretending.

In the End it all came down to who was less shit,and I got the second prize!

Now 2 years down the line, i'm professionally persuing Stand-up comedy, I can make hundreds of people laugh(when hundred people start showing up to my shows) but not a day goes by without thinking,a lot can happen if you just show up