the "10 year old me".

Hi, welcome back to my blog, i know its been a while but thank you for coming back here by visiting the link, its really appreciated. 

I've been really swamped with work and sleep cycle ki chain utar gayi hai so if you see me someday just looking at a distance, going non-verbal, just know that its already too late for me(to sleep).

i thought of writing something about being in love or getting through a heartbreak but who really needs that right now? as Sahir Ludhianvi once said, "kab talak tere ishq me rou, mere ghar ke bhi sau masle hai"

life can be tiring sometimes, its easy to feel good when the sun's shining on your face, birds are chirping and the winds are talking to you but getting up after the sun's gone out cold, birds are tired and the wind has left, that shit is hard , and the worst part is, not all of us are blessed with warm welcomes at home. 

In the end, it all comes down to this and this only, you have to be the thing that saves you. all of us, without even realizing it, subconsciously try to become the one we needed when we were little. I've been alive in this world for 19 years now and i have nothing to show for it, and surprisingly that's ok because even though i don't lead a star studded life like others, or even if I'm not part of a big circle or some trendy shit, not a day goes by without me appreciating things that i have with me. what really makes me feel content about myself is, that the 10 year old me would be really proud of the person that I am today. 

Of course there were times when I gave up twice a day but I got up again and again and again, not because someone told me to, but because I had hope that all of this will be worth laughing at for my future self. what people fail to teach us is that hope is not some fairy, decorated with ornaments, with birds flying around her, Hope is a bloody, wounded, knocked down child bearing scars of the past. All we can do is make a future where that child feels safe. I know this might sound childish quoting Batman on this, but he said this beautiful thing, " if you don't see your version of hero consoling a child, that's not a hero".

so I'll end the session on this note, I know I'm asking for too much from you, but try to be someone's home, someone's peace, someone's smile.

thank you for reading it till here, just know that if you're seeing this i love your presence in my life.

you can reach out to me on ELUSIVE_ZAHID