"Never leave my hand, always hold on to them"

I don't know if you've heard this one or not, but when i was little, my dad used to tell me " if its yours, it will roam the world to find you, but if it isn't, you'll roam the world for it but still wont get it", but what he said after it is what stick to me, he said "koshish karke dekh lena, dhoka kismat deti hai, mehnat nahi"

I started reading books when I was 9, my first read was Sherlock Holmes, this specific chapter means a lot, I'll tell you why later, the thing about this is, Sherlock is sitting on a park bench and he suddenly notices a mother with her children, they're on the middle of the road, and the mother says to her child, "never leave my hand, always hold on to them" 

Sherlock stands up and John asks him, "are you down with something?", sherlock replies, "no, why do you ask", john says, "no, its just I noticed you put your hands in your coat all of a sudden", Sherlock smiles and says "I don't have anyone to hold them for me" 

The reason I'm telling you this is because someone asked me today, "why do you keep your hands in the pocket, don't they get sweaty?", like of course this isn't London, but I thought to myself there's no actual reason why I do this, it's just I read something when I was 9 and I've been doing that since. The best part about this is that even though dad isn't around anymore, this habit stays with me from the book he bought. 

Since then, I won declamations, debates, gave speeches, changed schools, made new friends, lost some old ones, got some cold shoulders, then gave shoulders to cry on, made fun of trauma, did stand-up comedy, Poetry, was the youngest at every table and what not! Life came a full circle, its just that, I don't know if it matters anymore or not but the little hands the 9 years old Zahid shove into his pockets never came out.

I still try to be the person, I thought I could be, for a while I believed, I actually did, that I am the person I ought to be, who could look the 9 year old in the eye and say "you can take my hand, always hold on to them", but I'm not, but what I'm sure of is, that I'm getting there, I'll be there someday, as my dad once said, "koshish karte rehna, dhoka kismat deti hai, mehnat nahi" 

So, good bye for you, I'll see you soon (its a threat), in the meanwhile follow me on @elusive_ppoet 
I'm open to constructive criticism (from people who have actually constructed something ofc)